Listening more

In the six months that I have been in California, I have sometimes felt like I’m dating all over again. Only, this time it is to find new friends that will take on the role of family like my friends in Singapore did.

I know we think dating is difficult when you’re trying to find a person to love. Let me tell you that finding a friend who is like a sister is equally difficult.

I would like to be a bigger person than someone who stereotypes an entire population in one sweeping motion, but something about being here makes it difficult. I don’t know if it is my misfortune to have met people who are inevitably self- obsessed or plain bad at listening. (And I know that for those of you who have known me for a long time calling somebody a poor listener is almost a joke, given I’ve become a listener only after lots of feedback from those who love me.)

It’s not all bad. I have got in touch with old friends who live in the area and are wonderful to meet up with or talk to. But by and large, there is something about being here that turns those people into a more narcissistic version of themselves. Each time I think I’m on a good date and that we should meet once again something happens that sends me right back to ground zero.

I don’t mean to sound negative about my new life here. I love a lot of things about living here. The weather, the opportunities to hike and feel one with nature, the food, how accommodating this place is of vegetarians And most of all how happy P is here. His happiness somehow acts as a soothing balm that makes me happy and makes our life much much happier than it was ever before. And really, what a baby i am to be complaining about minor things like this when I have a job that makes me happy and challenges me every single day.

But while this blog is about telling you all of the great stuff that happens in my new life, it is also about being honest about the not so good things that I encounter. And my luck with making new friends aside from a handful is one of those not so good encounters.

P.S. Person on east coast who cooks, Person who hikes every weekend in Cali and P’s PHD friend – if you’re reading this, you are all exceptions to the above.

Burmese food in Palo alto

Last evening on a whim P and I decided to go to Palo Alto for dinner. Ofur favorite is this israeli restaurant which serves up brilliant hummus. But this time we had to go off our usual spot because we couldn’t find parking. As luck would have it while parking at this new spot we found another hidden gem – A lovely Burmese restaurant by the name off Rangoon ruby.

It’s a rare treat to go out to dinner on a weekday. To top it off the food was incredibly good.

Today is turning out to be a horrid busy day. As I paused in the middle of the chaos think about how bad this day is going to be, I thought I had better note down how wonderful last evening was because it was truly wonderful.

Previously the only Burmese food options we knew of were in the city of San Francisco. After yesterday I’m glad the want have to go 30 miles to find one again.

My hands my hands!

It’s the same or story all over again. I tell myself I’ll get back to writing more often now and then my hands give up on me.

Now trust me it’s not like I don’t have things to say. It’s a new country a new city new job a new life there’s always something to talk about. Yet, every time a new talk comes to mind I have to stop myself from putting it down because I just don’t have the strength in my arms.

So you know what I just did? I got on my iPhone and I use siri to input this entire blog post on my wordpress app. It’s not 100% Perfect. But hey it’s better than not writing at all.

Maybe I can give this a chance after all.

Not speaking of things

You know how sometimes, you know something is on your mind, but saying it is only going to make it true and make you have to deal with it? I’m slowly settling into that phase now of realizing that I’ve moved to this new place and the reality of having left everything and everyone behind is finally sinking in. I love being here and I like what I do for work. My health is better than it was 3 months ago, and for all of this I am grateful, but it’s very reminiscent of 2005 when I’d just moved to Singapore. I had no friends and I was lonely as hell. Running away was not an option, and I didn’t feel trapped because there were some things I enjoyed, most important being my freedom. But I craved human contact from more than 1 person. It all settled down and by 2008, I had fabulous friends. By 2012, I had more fabulous friends. And now, I feel like I’m back to 200 again. While I’m happy to wait for 2008, I’m haunted ever so often by this worry of whether and when it will happen.

Not speaking of it isn’t a solution. So here I am. Speaking about it.

Mad Men

I started watching this 50′s ad world drama when I moved here. Mainly it was to have a show to have lunch over since I now work from home. But also because it was so raved about and so different from so many others out there, that I figured I’d see something new.

As a reaction, I was appalled and almost personally affronted by how women were treated back then. More importantly, while season 3 starts to show them in new light exercising their rights and reaching their potential, I give a silent prayer of thanks for being born in this generation where I could do as I liked with my life. Just saying.

Still alive

Just vanished off the radar to finally set up a house that could support us and the many guests we had through the months of December and January. In some ways, it was so bittersweet, having good old friends from Singapore here. Old friendships can envelope you in a feeling of such utter comfort that seeking anything new seems like too much trouble. But seek one must.

To recap the months that just went by….

November: I moved to Cali in mid November. Within 1 day we found a house we absolutely loved. Within the week, we’d moved in. It took much longer to have the house up and running.

And contrary to my usual goal to impart practical function to the place, for the very 1st time, I felt enough of a sense of permanence to want to decorate. I mean, we have rugs in the rooms! It doesn’t get any more aesthetic than that for the decoration simpleton that is me.

In the process, what I have acquired is the ability to research anything from houseplants to patio furniture to vegetable peelers before purchasing them. I’ve also realized that the US makes research super easy via. Amazon for products and Yelp for services. I even found my allergist reviewed online!!!

 

December: Our goal was to wrap up settling in by Mid December, which is when our 1st guest arrived from Singapore. Mr. Ravi unfortunately arrived to a guest room that didn’t even have the bed set up. Thankfully, he was moving on to the East coast for work before he returned with his wife. And in the meantime, our setting up was complete. Sometime in the middle of all this, our boxes finally arrived from Singapore! And my saris survived!!!

Through December, we made new friends and met old ones here in the Bay Area. We traveled to San Diego for the long weekend, brought a Christmas tree and hosted friends for our 1st ever Christmas dinner.

Right after Christmas, Ravi and Aruna arrived with much enthusiasm for the weather (they came here from freezing New York – hah!) and the place. Many funs were had hosting them and most memorably, spending new years’ eve with them and some other friends.

Jan 1st was spent hiking through one of the most beautiful trails in SFO all the way to the Golden gate park. We spent that whole day walking and if the old tale about Jan 1st being a precedent for the rest of the year is true, then we have a wonderful year to look forward to indeed.

January: This is when Ravi and Aruna left and the infamous Radishmijo made their appearance. While all we had with them was 1 week, it was a wonderful week, esp. for Rash who spent most of her waking hours on the deck sunning herself and sipping on wine. We did a weekend in LA, which involved a LONG drive to and fro where the girls kept our driver well amused with many stories. There was also this amazing dinner in LA which reminded me of my darling Andy, but more on that later.

And February is here before we know it. We’re enjoying every minute of life here and making the most of the seasons, the landscapes and nature in this area. All that is left is for more of you to visit us soon

I’m alive!

Just drowning under a pile of to do’s while setting up a new house. We’ve spent the last 2 weeks since my arrival in Cali mainly looking for a house (1 day) and then moving in (many many days and we’re not even done yet). We love love love this house! I say this without a trace of pride of any kind because we were just lucky to have found something so beautiful within our budget.

I’ve never lived in a house with so much surface area and so much outdoor space. Or with such spectacular views of the sunrise and the mountains. I really wish each and every one of you can come visit us and see the place through our eyes.

Yes, we live in suburban California (as suburban as Mountain View can be deemed) and away from the gorgeous city of SFO that I always wanted to live in, but even a city girl like me is able to appreciate the colors in the trees, the pretty paths leading up to the very quaint downtown area and the overall peaceful vibe of this place. I’ll put up pictures as soon as we’re even 75% there with setting up this place so you can see it too.

Excited!!!

Diwali

While I’m not a big fan of Diwali in general (blame it on the extreme aversion to noise and severe bronchial problems growing up), this is one festival where I like to follow others in their celebrations. I may be a mere follower, but I take genuine joy in the wearing of saris, helping with potlucks and the like.

And for the last 6-7 years, there’s always been some way to follow celebration because the Penguin loves Diwali and inevitably leads the celebration that we all join.

I hadn’t given much thought to Diwali this year, but lucked out because Sai’s bunch of friends (the most enthu pataka people I’ve ever met) got together and decided to extend a warm invitation to me. I feel so privileged to have joined their celebration in such an intimate way. I’m a lucky lucky girl. Even while in this piece of lonely suburbia, I haven’t had the chance to feel lonely or down – mostly thanks to Sai and Ashu.

And to everyone in Singapore who makes the effort to stay in touch on email, FB, phone and more modern methods like facetime and skype (which is most of my friends), I’m so very grateful.

I love you all. Thank you for your amazing kindness and for having me continue to be a part of your lives. If such love and inclusion doesn’t symbolize a festival, I don’t know what does.

Happy Diwali everyone. <3

In case you haven’t noticed

I just re-separated the 2 blogs. Some friends told me it was getting too confusing switching tracks between life in the US and reliving my Europe holiday. So I split them up. FYI, the travel posts are now here.

http://traveladventures29.wordpress.com/

 

 

Week 4 and 5 in Boston or ‘California, here I come!!!’

So Mogambo left Boston last week after Sandy was kind enough to leave us all and let flights function once again. I trudged through the Thursday after she left, sleeping early and being a general geek, all along looking forward to Friday evening when Sai’s parents had invited me home to dinner. 

Dinner was incredible, but more importantly, it was wonderful to meet parents as nice as his. His mom was cheerful and conversational, much unlike many women her age who harbor resentment at the world and how much it has changed. I adored her ability to laugh at anything and everything. I was re-invited on Saturday night and this time, in addition to fantastic food, had the pleasure of hearing his friend Ramya regale us with her singing. Mood lighting and her incredible voice made for the best evening I’ve had in a while. Thank you, Sai, if you’re reading this.

Sunday saw me heading out to brunch with Shiv and Em at my favorite Cambodian French restaurant (unfortunately my lemongrass ginger tofu thingie was lackluster this time round) and ending up at Ashu’s place for a cup of home brewed chai and chit chat. (I don’t know when I became a follower of the chai and biscuit with friends tradition, but I love that I did). What a lovely weekend! 

The week went by in a flurry of trying to get my 1st ever project to close scope and content. It was stressful on days, but mostly a lot of fun. That and the fact that Sai and I have been assigned to a corporate project which is very exciting makes work much more fun than before. He’s had one of the most eventful weeks in his 2 years here – but that’s his story to tell.  

It’s a Saturday morning here. Ashu came over to spend last evening and slept over. We had a very simple ravioli dinner at home and spent a long long time in the evening chatting. It’s reassuring to know you can still meet and like people after you cross the grand old age of 31. It’s sad that I’m moving away from here after making friends like this, but the saving grace is that we’ll still be in the same company so catching up will be easier.

This weekend was supposed to be in NYC. I booked tickets and everything, but somewhere through mid week, realized I’d like to stay back here and spend time with the folks here one last time before I head out to California for good this Friday. Just as well. I’m already booked for Sat lunch, dinner, Sunday lunch and dinner. What an awesome last weekend in Boston!